11th January 2009 - Part 2

Sometimes, when you live in a different country, you find yourself doing things you wouldn't even think of doing when you are at home -eating parts of an animal you've never even considered, following strangers down backstreets in an attempt to find the 'real' city, going to the toilet in what appears to be a corrugated iron sewer. Similarly, you often find yourself being friends with people you wouldn't even consider if you were at home in your normal life.

Being away from friends and family and living submerged in an unfamiliar culture for an extended period means you often cling to any reminder of your home country - meaning you end up desperately trying to force a friendship with a woman three times your age whose only interest is stamp collecting, or agreeing to a sixth date with the most boring man in the world because it's better than watching re-runs of Oprah every evening.

I was really lucky that in Addis I met Ute - someone I would have chosen for a friend in any country, but someone who I probably would never have crossed paths with if it hadn't been for Ethiopia - and I met others who I was very glad to be friends with. I also have a dear 'adopted family' in Addis who I love very much and am very, very glad they are in my life.

But there are many other people who I have spent an inordinate amount of time with - and sometimes still do - who I just know I would not be interested in if I were back home. I certainly wouldn't be devoting so much time and energy to them. It sounds callous, I know, but I'm sure most of them feel the same about me!

Having Ethiopia in common is a great starting point - and I'm sure that when I come home I will be moaning that nobody really 'gets' me, or some other pretentious nonsense - but it's not really enough to sustain a friendship. Back home you chose friends because they are like minded, you have things in common, you respect them, and you have fun. When you have a restricted pool of people to choose from, you find yourself lowering your standards, purely so you can have a conversation. This is why you can sometimes find yourself trying to pretend you didn't hear that racist remark, or vowing you will steer clear of political conversation in an attempt to keep your new friend…

'Geographical friends' are a part of expat life - not just for me, but for lots of people I have met who are living overseas. Sometimes you're lucky enough to meet someone you'd be friends with back home,and your friendship is only strengthened by the shared experience of the country you're living in - other times you find you're having dinner again, when you probably should have stayed in to watch Oprah …